After your sister’s miscarriage, it can be difficult to know what you should say or do. You want to be there for her but don’t want her to feel rushed or stifled by your advice.
You can help your sister feel less alone during this difficult time by supporting her in the following ways.
What she needs from you
Do not say that I understand how you feel. You cannot possibly understand how she feels without having experienced a miscarriage yourself.
Say something like: I’m sorry I can’t describe how you feel right now, but I am here to help you.
You could not do or say anything that would make you look bad in my eyes. I am sorry. I know that you have changed, but it does not change who you are.
Ask if there’s anything she wants you to do
Do not assume that there is nothing you can say or do. Ask her what she needs.
It’s okay to drop by every so often, even if she hasn’t asked for any help.
Tell her that you are available to help if she has any questions or needs assistance.
Send your sympathy with thoughtful gifts
You can help your sister by giving her thoughtful gifts if she miscarried. It’s nice to send a handwritten note, as long as you don’t include something like I know that you will get pregnant soon.
Remember that while what happened is sad, it does not define her. These miscarriage support packages are great for when you do not have the words to express sympathy.
When you’re not sure what to say, use a gentle and kind tone. No one wants empty platitudes. They want your comfort and support.
Spend Some Time with Her
It will be difficult for your sister to deal with the first few days following her miscarriage, especially if this is something she has never experienced before. Give her space and time.
Do not force her to talk or see you if she does not want to.
Respect her decision and allow her to call you later if she wants company. Assure her that this was not something she could have prevented, or that she is bad. It’s just one of those things.
Do not avoid the topic unless she asks you to.
Ignoring your sister’s miscarriage will only make it worse. Talk to her, no matter how difficult it may be for you.
Avoid patronizing words or phrases like “it’s fine”. Say things like I’m sorry or I understand that this must have been a difficult situation for you. Don’t push her to speak about it if she doesn’t want to. But don’t give up.
Even if your sister doesn’t seem to be affected, a miscarriage is still devastating. Remember that she may not want sympathy, especially from someone who’s never had a miscarriage.
It is important to help your sister through her miscarriage. While you may feel helpless at this time, these tips can hopefully comfort your sister